Transformation Tuesday... These photos popped up on my Facebook last Tuesday, and they've been sitting on my desktop for a week. It is so crazy to look back at where I was and how much has changed.
In June-July 2013, I was in New York for a 2 week teacher conference. I spent my own money to go to a training for my job. In New York City. For 2 whole weeks. I felt stifled in my career. I wasn't learning what I wanted to be learning, so I took it upon myself to find something new. Typical Jaclyn though, I didn't do everything I could while in New York. Other teachers I met invited me to hang out, but I had super anxious feelings about being around people I didn't know, so I spent most of my free time sitting in the hotel room, crying to Paul on the phone that I didn't know how to network and just wanted to come home. Instead of eating out at restaurants in one of the most amazing food cities in the country, I went to the grocery store every day and ate a grocery store brownies. I cried on the last day I was there because they were out of brownies. I had some major food and social issues.
The day I took this picture was such a ridiculous day. I was sitting on a park bench in hot NYC summer weather, sweating and eating a gyro, tzatziki sauce every where I'm sure, when Lucy Calkins sat down next to me. I felt ashamed of how I looked, but I didn't want to miss the moment, and she obliged to take a selfie with me. It used to be painful to look at this picture, but now I can see how far I've come with food, anxiety, my confidence, and just learning to talk to people!
The middle photo was last year in Nashville. I had quit teaching, was SOOOO over teaching, had no clue what I was doing with my life, but I was ready for the adventure of something new. Paul and I went on a road trip through the south- he wanting to explore areas we might move. I just wanted to get out of Chicago and see the country. Not a lot of physical changes since last year, but a heck of a lot of inner changes.
1. I had such an awful relationship with food still. I was still trying to make Whole30 a thing in my life. I packed peppers and hard-boiled eggs for our trip, and we almost immediately stopped at a gas station in Indiana for Pringles, licorice, and Combos. I felt enormous guilt about eating the crap food, but I couldn't stop myself. I never got to eat anything sweet or snacky on Whole30, and given just a little taste of something, I went spiraling down. I never learned the whole moderation or balance thing while on Whole30. I probably convinced myself I needed to do another perfect Whole30 for a month right after the trip instead of just eating vegetables and drinking water.
2. I was still anxious AF on that trip. I hated being at the bars. I didn't want to talk to anyone new. I was ready to go home ASAP. That's a sad way to live life, being afraid of all the awesome opportunities in front of you.
The last photo, that's me being perfect AF, right? Hells no. I still have some issues with food (like how I ate crap this weekend) and a little anxiety around new people and new situations (like talking to people at my job.) BUT I wanna say moving to Atlanta without a full-time job, believing something BIGGER AND BETTER was possible and working for it, building my own coaching business, completing Hammer and Chisel AND a 100 day running streak, training for a third half marathon and second full marathon, vowing to never do Whole30 again and just learn to love good food and eat other food every now and then, like moderation!! BALANCE!! Well... I'm on my way to being my best self. LETTING GO of trying to be perfect with food or perfect at anything and fully working on being my best self and inspiring and helping others to do the same. <3
Ready to work on being your best self too? I am a coach and work with women who struggle with food, moderation, perfectionism, and self-confidence. I lead monthly groups to help myself and my clients stay on track with their goals. Let's talk. I work with women like me. I work with women like you.