Perfection, why I hate the word, and why I expect something else

I am a recovering sensitive person.

By that I mean, I used to be really sensitive, and I guess I still kinda am, but I also don't want to be.

I don't like taking offense to everything.

I don't like when I get upset about what people say about me.

I want to have a stronger skin.

I do have a strong skin!

It's way stronger than it was a year ago or even a few months ago.


But there is something that keeps sticking with me and irking me, and I don't know why.

I think about it and analyze it and wonder why it bothers me so much.


A few months ago, someone told me that I expect perfection out of people and I wasn't realistic in my expectations.


I wasn't sure what to take from this or how to handle this.


Because I literally don't expect perfection out of people.


I don't even expect it out of myself.


I've written about it before in this blog post Perfection vs. Consistency .

And this one: How to Weekend and Still Feel Amazing Come Monday

And this one: Public Breakup


Heck, apparently I've been anti-perfection in several blog posts. 


I freaking called my 2017 Imperfectly Consistent.




And subtitled my eCourse with the same lingo.




So why did it sting so much when this person said that to me, and why does it still sting this much?


I've built my whole social media presence on working hard, being consistent, and achieving goals, and NOT giving up on ourselves because we aren't perfect.


I am still working through why that comment stung me.


I don't think I am perfect.


I don't think anyone is.


I don't think it's possible to be perfect.


When people say things like, "We're only human," it acknowledges that we are going to make mistakes. We're human. That's what we do. 


I preach how imperfection is OKAY with my coaching clients.

But I also preach consistency and working hard.


And I model it. I talk the talk and walk the walk. 


I work hard.

I am consistent. 

I mess up and get back up.


I hate when people use the word perfection to describe things.

There is literally NEVER going to be a day where things are perfect.

Where everything goes exactly how we wanted.


But again, just because we aren't going to be perfect doesn't mean we just give up.


I think sometimes people think that if things aren't perfect, there's no point in doing it. That if they messed up, it means they are a failure and should give up. And I guess that's my point in my social media presence.


I am a walking example of how you can be so freaking imperfect and still get shit done.

I mess up ALL THE TIME. 


Like all the time.


I just ate half a tub of hummus for lunch. And when I realized what I was doing, I drank a crap ton water and made myself stop eating out of boredom. 


I have FAILED running plans a million times.


In 2015, I didn't train for a marathon and still did the marathon.

In 2016, I ate pizza three days in a row before the marathon and really messed up the marathon.

In 2017, I learned from my failures, and I did a heck of a lot better. But I wasn't perfect. Because it doesn't exist. But I was consistent. And I have no regrets about that marathon. 


I think a lot of people (old self included) use the times we mess up and aren't perfect as excuses to just not do the work. 


It's this scapegoat.


Oh, well, I F-ed up so guess everything is in the garbage and I will eat the other 11 donuts in this box because I already feel like crap.


Or: Oh, well, I know I said I was going to workout 4 times this week, but today is Thursday and I haven't done any, so I will just start on Monday.



I don't tell people to be perfect.


But I do expect and help people learn from their mistakes and get back up and do the things they said they were going to do.


As a coach, I am not being paid by people to patronize people and tell them their excuses are okay. People are literally paying me to help them achieve their goals. That's what I do as a coach. 


I help people get from where they are to where they want to be.


You can post things on social media and get free support. Free likes. Free hearts.


But I help women


their lives by helping them realize the excuses they tell themselves that are holding them back.


I help women see the self-sabotage they do on a daily basis that is preventing them from achieving their goals.


I help women create habits and routines they can do for life.


I help women create long-lasting changes.


I help women get to where they want to be.


And no, it's not going to happen through perfect days, but it does happen through routine habits and consistency.


I hate the word perfection.

Change happens with consistency.



xoxo Jaclyn