I felt like there were two polar opposite messages being thrown at me:
A. There's something wrong with your body. You need to be skinnier.
You've seen the billboards. Get bikini body ready! Look better naked. Here's how to lose 5 lbs fast.
The other message:
B. There's nothing wrong with your body, you should love yourself just as you are, and wanting to change the way your body looks makes you a vain person with low self-esteem. Wanting abs=bad. Nothing wrong with your body, but definitely something wrong with you.
It didn't sit right with me.
There are plenty of things I love, but I still want to improve.
I love my boyfriend. Eek, fiance. I love our relationship, but we still have a lot we can improve on. Wanting to make our relationship better is not saying that our relationship is broken. I want to continuously make it better.
When I was a teacher, I loved my students just as they were. I still wanted to help them change and get better in school and in life.
I love myself as a runner! I have a decent pace! And I don't hate on it, but I don't want it to stay the same. I want to keep improving my time. There is a way to keep working at something and improve it without hating on it.
My body is my body. The only one I have.
I can love it and change it at the same time.
The two are not exclusive.
It's just that I don't obsess over being skinny anymore. I don't obsess over the scale, calories, food restrictions, my THIGHS...
I work hard every day because I want to be happy, healthy, and STRONG.
And not because there is something wrong with me.
And you know what? Because of all the hard work I have done, my body has changed so much. My arms are more muscular. My face is thinner. My boobs... are basically gone. Ugh, effing weight loss. And my legs? My thighs? The things I used to hate and cry about? I started being neutral about them and then loving on them and just treating them well... and they're finally starting to change.
I love my body, and I still can work on changing it. And wanting to change it doesn't make me vain.
This hasn't been easy. This has been a JOURNEY. And I have been up and I have been down, but the amazing thing is I have had a support squad throughout it all.
One of my coaches said she wants to create a space for women to feel strong as hell and feel supported on that journey.
And I think that's what we do.
All of us.
We didn't find the message and community we needed, so we had to go out and create that message and find the people that "get it" too.
Conclusion: You can love your body and still work to change it. Having a support squad makes it a hell of a lot easier.
Doors are open for my June accountability group. Yes, you CAN feel amazing in a swimsuit this summer. We are going to work on confidence, loving our bodies just as they are, and doing daily healthy actions to continuously improve them.
Let me know your goals here: June Goals And I will contact you to schedule a call to talk more about what you want for June.