I’ve written a lot about Whole30, how it actually maximized my disordered eating tendencies instead of squashing them. Meeting my extreme way of eating with an extreme way of depriving didn’t help me get over my love of sugar. It made me want sugar all the much more.
And then walked in a new person with a completely different way of eating.
I watched my coach eat a spoonful of marshmallow fluff, and I was in awe.
"How the F could she put something like that in her body and not continue to eat the whole jar plus a chocolate cake?"
But she did it. And her relationship with food and her body was nothing I had ever seen before. She was strong yet imperfect. It was crazy to me.
My obsession with being perfect resulted me in saying F it when things weren't perfect and thus convincing myself to fall down a rabbit hole. When I instead focused on doing awesome habits and practices for my body and STOPPED focusing on being perfect, things like marshmallow fluff, chocolate cake, and pizza lost their allure.
They were imperfect foods that I practiced being around. In the last 6 months, we have gotten married, moved out of state, traveled through the south, stayed in 6 different hotels with our travels, + stayed w/ parents + in-laws. Being around imperfect food situations was bound to happen. No more searching for the perfect diet or meal plan because with these uncertain food situations, I was going to have to practice TRUST instead of CONTROL.
I have 50 women taking my free beta course on nighttime binge eating, and I am humbled by the early responses.
For so much of our lives, we've been taught to:
-fear and hate our bodies
-fear and hate food
-fear and hate imperfection
-seek out opportunities to CONTROL instead of TRUST
Perfect meal plans require control.
Meal prep Sunday requires control.
Bringing your own food to places requires control.
And when we’re trying to control, it’s often because we lack trust.
Whole30 taught me I couldn’t trust myself around certain foods, so I would have to abstain.
The result is of trying to be perfect with food:
-creating a poor relationship with our bodies
-saying mean things to ourselves over and over
-turning to food to numb pain
-hating how we feel after using food as a drug
-cutting food groups out at the promise of a perfect body
-starting the cycle over and over again to gain some sort of control again
I'm excited to work with my beta testers and give them permission to have something imperfect and practice what it looks like to not fall down a rabbit hole.
Here's your permission to do kind things for your body and not worry about being perfect.
Here's your permission to practice TRUST and not control.
And I’m sorry that someone or something in the past made you believe you needed permission.