Leaving my career would mean the end of the "perfect life" I imagined

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I was in a career that I hated, and it was taking a toll on my mental and physical health.

You don’t make much $ as a teacher, and my medical bills were ridiculous. I was at the Target Clinic every month and at the ear, nose, and throat doctor every few months. I had pink eye, ring worm, and strep throat which would always turn into a throat infection.

When I wasn’t sick, I was still sick. I called those years being “perpetually sick.” I always had a little bit of phlegm and a terrible cough that wouldn’t go away no matter what medication or remedy I tried.

I had an eye twitch that would last for weeks when it came and a ball of anxiety in my chest that made it hard to breathe. I had panic attacks every Sunday night, and sometimes I’d have panic attacks on Friday knowing that Sunday would be here before I knew it. I’d frequent the immediate care center and pray I wouldn’t have to pay for more x-rays and that I didn’t have pneumonia.

I gained weight because I was stress eating and my choice of foods increased inflammation… My body was in pain every day in my 20s. It hurt to walk. It hurt to stand. In. My. 20s.

I knew I couldn’t live like this for the next 30 years of my life. I tried a few different schools, but I always felt the same.

When I left my teaching career, I found out what it was like to breathe like a regular person. The ball of anxiety in my chest disappeared.

I left teaching w/o knowing what I would do. There was a lot of shame and guilt about investing $$$ into a BA and MA , having student loans up the wazoo, and then just leaving… with no solid plan or passion.

But I knew doing something was different + trusting that I would find something eventually was better than staying where I was, experiencing the same pain year after year, and calling that living my life.

I was interviewed about #imperfectliving on Episode 18 of Heart Driven Radio. Through all these trials, I’ve learned and preach that it is okay to have an imperfect life. #Whole30 teaches us that if you’re not perfect, you failed, start over on day 1. F that. Geneen Roth teaches us that how you view food is closely linked to how you view life. #imperfect

Checkout episode 18 here